It Is Hot in My Head

It is hot, Humid and stifling in my head today.

The day that I realized that my conciousness is all I really know, this is all I can say is true, seemed to lock me in here. Peeping out every now and then at a more and more predictable modern Hollywood feature film.

A film intending to maximize their production dollars by including the two minute long, perfectly positioned love scene emphasized in their marketing trailers. A scene meant to entice that 18-35 year old female demographic into the action packed, globe trotting, fortune chasing, traditionally male genre of super powered character driven, global catastrophe saving, aggressive unwanted cerebral copulation of if you don’t have a 10 dollar combination of popcorn and soda combo you are really not enjoying this film mess.

Fuck. My frontal lobe seems to be throbbing in rebellion.

When I was a kid I went thru a one month stage of inhalant propelled self medication.
Krylon gold or silver was rumored to be the connoisseur choice of my juvenile delinquent, foster home bouncing colleagues.

I preferred liquid paper. You could huff it directly out of the stealthy, palm sized, half
fluid ounce container with a 2 inch snip off of one of those half coffee stirrer, half straw things that they keep next to the slurpee straws in 7-11.

It wasn’t till somebody told me that the high I seemed to so enjoy from this bell ringing, it don’t fucking matter no more endeavor was really just the direct result of the demise of my frontal lobe. I saw the result portrayed be Mr. Nicholson of having his scrambled by the powers that be in cuckoos nest. I decided to give it up.

When my brain gets too hot I write. When I write I liken the result to the pressure valve on my steam cooker. No, better yet to a psychological equivalent to a physical trepan procedure. Have you ever heard of trepanning? I saw a disturbing video once about a woman that believed in this procedure as a way to expand consciousness. It is when you drill a hole into your forehead to relieve brain swelling. The ancient Hawaiians used to practice it as treatment for head contusions.

Well, it is cool enough to get back to my emails now.